Christy Hardin Smith » Newt Gingrich for Prez? Ain’t Enough Stain Remover On The Planet

Newt Gingrich for Prez? Ain’t Enough Stain Remover On The Planet

Christy Hardin Smith Monday May 25, 2009 5:14 am

Barf detergent via crowleb.

Unctuous doesn’t begin to describe Newt Gingrich’s "serious look" at a 2012 presidential run.

Isn’t that a fine "how do you do" to return to from a nice vacation:

The Republican defeats in the last two election cycles have presented an opportunity for Gingrich to return to prominence, noted more than one Republican strategist.

"Since Republicans don’t hold power, there’s a void of leadership," said Ron Bonjean, a Republican strategist. "And Newt Gingrich is trying to take advantage of this opportunity as much as possible and try to assert himself as one of the leading voices of the Republican Party."

…That could include, the strategist said, the possibility running for president in 2012.

I don’t care what sort of convenient "wipe myself clean with the spirit of the Lord" conversion Newt Gingrich claims to have made just before the next election cycle.

There is no stain remover strong enough to get rid of his self-inflicted pit stains. None.

Or am I the only person cynical enough to see the "Catholicism as slate cleaning by proxy" presser in the offing? I can already hear the Newtie line:

The Lord has blessed me with my lovely ~~third~~ wife and family, and has forgiven me my sins. I only hope that the American public can do the same, although I don’t deserve it. **insert penitent glance here** I only want to serve my country in the best way that I know how. And if the Lord sees fit to bless me in that way, I’ll devote everything I have to ~~more discreet affairs~~ ~~more profitable ethics violations~~ working hard for all of us.

Sickening, yet plausible. Gingrich already went on the record saying that 2008 presidential hopefuls shouldn’t have their private lives looked at during the campaign. Preemptive strike, anyone?

Seriously, anyone think that Gingrich would be above using whatever is handy, including Jesus, as his personal media shield and PR ploy? Didn’t we already see this from Jimmy Swaggart anyway?

Tell me I’m wrong. Please.

Because if Gingrich’s past is prologue, we are in for one helluva kabuki drama. Because, as everyone ought to know by now, Newt really is only in it for Newt.

There is no back he will not stab, especially for PR purposes. None. Including the entire American public if it will get him what he wants for himself.

Then again, some media folks are stupid enough to buy his schtick…so all bets are off. It’s the stake that never gets planted in the Village of the Politically Never-Ending Undead. Ugh.

Spotlight

50 Responses to "Newt Gingrich for Prez? Ain’t Enough Stain Remover On The Planet"

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 05:46 am 1

Morning all. Fresh coffee at my house…but not enough in the whole wide world to make Newt Gingrich remotely palatable. Ick.

foothillsmike | Monday May 25, 2009 05:57 am 2

Morning Christie, Newt is appropriately named. As a lizard there are very few people on the political scene that can rival him for sleaze.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:07 am 3

In response to foothillsmike @ 2

I put him in the same category that I have Rove in: ends justifies whatever means are necessary to get what they want. And damn the costs or collateral damage.

foothillsmike | Monday May 25, 2009 06:07 am 4

In response to foothillsmike @ 2

OOps forgive the spelling Christy.

foothillsmike | Monday May 25, 2009 06:09 am 5

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 3

Rove and Tom Delay – despicable people.

quake | Monday May 25, 2009 06:09 am 6

more discrete affairs

You meant discreet, I think.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:10 am 7

In response to quake @ 6

I did — thanks. Will fix it. Never type before coffee…

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:14 am 8

Oh yeah — DeLay is definitely in that crowd. And what a lovely gathering that would be, eh? The ”no real beliefs other than elevating my own ass through asshattery” gang. Ugh.

foothillsmike | Monday May 25, 2009 06:20 am 9

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 8

I don’t think that I would refer to it as a lovely gathering – lowly might be more appropriate.

jayt | Monday May 25, 2009 06:20 am 10

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 1

…but not enough (coffee) in the whole wide world to make Newt Gingrich remotely palatable. Ick.

not without adding hallucinogens of some sort.

which tends to kinda ruin the coffee, ~~in my experience~~ I would think.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:22 am 11

In response to jayt @ 10

LOL — well, I’m no expert on that, so I’ll defer to your ~~superior personal experience~~ vicariously gleaned knowledge. *g*

TarheelDem | Monday May 25, 2009 06:22 am 12

In response to foothillsmike @ 2

Point of correction. Newts are not lizards. Lizards are reptiles and are dry and scaly. Newts are amphibians that are moist, clammy, and have a mucus coating to preserve moisture. Lizards live under rocks in deserts and running around in forests. Newts live under rocks in wetlands and temporary puddles.

Newts’ closest relatives are ~~gerry~~salamanders.

Beerfart Liberal | Monday May 25, 2009 06:24 am 13

Tell me I’m wrong. Please.

Sorry. No can do. You’re right. I think this guy isn’t just a nattering asshole like most of the rest. He’s no dope, like Palin. He’s the sleeziest of the sleeze. i’ve said this before but I’ll say it again. This guy teaches for awhile at Goober U. and gets away with acting like a frigging intellectual.

Sun’s out. Stopped raining (for now) in The City Beautiful where we all Believe in Magic!

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:25 am 14

In response to TarheelDem @ 12

Somehow “mucus coating” seems just about right on so many levels, doesn’t it? *g*

foothillsmike | Monday May 25, 2009 06:26 am 15

In response to TarheelDem @ 12

Thanks for the clarification.

Crosstimbers | Monday May 25, 2009 06:29 am 16

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 14

Right, to mix metaphors, we keep trying to flick this mucous-coated thing away, only to find it repeatedly stuck to the nation’s finger.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:30 am 17

In response to Crosstimbers @ 16

I have a suggestion as to which finger, too…

twolf1 | Monday May 25, 2009 06:32 am 18

In response to Crosstimbers @ 16

Hopefully it’ll dry up and fall off soon.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:33 am 19

In response to twolf1 @ 18

Dammit. That should have come with a spew warning. *G*

Crosstimbers | Monday May 25, 2009 06:35 am 20

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 17

On the good side, the whole drama of Republicans jockeying for 2012 postion is reminiscent of the casting for Love Boat or Holywood Squares.

jayt | Monday May 25, 2009 06:35 am 21

In response to TarheelDem @ 12

Newts live under rocks in wetlands and temporary puddles.

but this Newt, as opposed to newts, can create his own puddles.

Nasty, non-temporary puddles. Puddles of….

(what a stroke of good timing – Number One Son’s downstairs, so i don’t have to finish that sentence.)

masaccio | Monday May 25, 2009 06:36 am 22

His voice grates on my ear, he either sounds condescending or petulant. Or, maybe all politicians, and all people we don’t like, have irritating voices.

If you don’t like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you furious; if you do like him, he can turn his plate over in your lap and you won’t mind.

Irving Becker, about whom I know nothing else.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:36 am 23

In response to Crosstimbers @ 20

Oh my. I just had this vision of Charles Nelson Riley in the center square with his Liberace-esque velvet and sequins suit ensemble and double entendre humor.

And then I smiled.

oldgold | Monday May 25, 2009 06:37 am 24

The GOP has become a politcal clown-car. Newt is as qualified as anyone to drive this retrograde circus act.

TarheelDem | Monday May 25, 2009 06:38 am 25

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 14

Yes it does. Which is why giving lizards a bad name by linking them to Newtie is such an injustice.

I don’t know for sure, but it is possible that like in some frogs some varieties of newts might have poisonous mucus coatings.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:39 am 26

Have to get my photos from New Orleans uploaded onto the iMAC today, so I can share a few with you guys. Got some lovely garden shots that I’ll pop up throughout the week if I can get time.

Came home to find that my little kitchen garden raised bed had doubled in size. And I have broccoli that’s about a week and a half away from harvesting size. Boo yah!

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:40 am 27

In response to oldgold @ 24

Which is fitting, given that he helped create the current craptastic incarnation in the first place.

Twain | Monday May 25, 2009 06:40 am 28

Christy, glad you’re back. I thought of you having that wonderful NO coffee and had terrible envy. Hope you are well.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:42 am 29

In response to Twain @ 28

I think I converted Mr. ReddHedd to drinking cafe au laits while we were there. It was heaven, I have to say, and we both realized how much we needed the break about a day and a half into the trip. And then we started missing The Peanut. *g*

Great food, sleeping in and a little too much wine later and I’m home, rested, relaxed and primed for snark.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:45 am 30

btw, in case anyone is wondering: yes, that is indeed a real detergent. I did not make it up.

Crosstimbers | Monday May 25, 2009 06:46 am 31

In response to TarheelDem @ 25

This is close to being on topic. I have been wondering if the Huffpo side by side placement of mug shots of Senator Ben Nelson and a forked-tongue komodo dragon was accidental. …. Ah well, the placement has changed, but the earlier page composition did point out a family resemblance.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 06:50 am 32

Grackles have taken over the bird feeder in my absence. On the upside, a cardinal just kicked a grackle’s ass to get to the peanuts in the feeder.

Take notes, Harry Reid.

Lindy | Monday May 25, 2009 06:57 am 33

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 32

Re Harry…good luck with that.

Morning, Christy. I lived in Atlanta back in the 80’s, when the Newt was just a nasty stain on Georgia politics. Nothing’s changed.

This is a travel day for us. We’re heading back to NOLA in just a little while. See you all on the other side, where I’ll at least have broadband. Dial-up is painful.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 07:01 am 34

In response to Lindy @ 33

Was so nice to meet you and your hubby in NOLA. Have a safe trip back home.

Knut | Monday May 25, 2009 07:10 am 35

Newt and the Thugs deserve each other. He could make Alan Keyes look like a viable Presidential candidate.

dmac | Monday May 25, 2009 07:11 am 36

it’s almost an artform…like making garden art out of dung.
i have beeen calling them ’mynah birds’ maybe i’ll change that to ’dung balls’.

dmac | Monday May 25, 2009 07:14 am 37

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 8

my 36 reply button didn’t work–was to christy’s 8 which said–

Oh yeah — DeLay is definitely in that crowd. And what a lovely gathering that would be, eh? The ”no real beliefs other than elevating my own ass through asshattery” gang. Ugh.

RevBev | Monday May 25, 2009 07:17 am 38

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 26

I am really looking forward to trip stories…..walking, Audubon park, food. Seems like you picked a great time for the trip.

BlueCrow | Monday May 25, 2009 07:17 am 39

In response to Christy Hardin Smith @ 14

Yes, and it evokes images of slugs as well.

“Tell me I’m wrong. Please.”

I’m sorry. I can’t.

dmac | Monday May 25, 2009 07:18 am 40

In response to masaccio @ 22

so true….

beauty is in the eye of the beholder..

JohnnyTable70 | Monday May 25, 2009 07:18 am 41

The legacy of the Newt is that he, perhaps more than any politician in the past 25 years, started the hyper-partisanship in Washington when he went after Jim Wright and Tony Coelho. The other thing that he is remembered for is his temper tantrum for being forced to wait until PRESIDENT Clinton disembarked AF-1 before the Speaker did. The immature bozo that is Newt decided to shut down the government in a fit of pique because of this perceived slight. IMO we owe him a big thank you for that one since it virtually guaranteed that Clinton would get reelected.

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 07:21 am 42

In response to JohnnyTable70 @ 41

Oh my. I had forgotten about that AF1 temper tantrum. It was a microcosm of all things Newt, wasn’t it?

1divasinger | Monday May 25, 2009 07:37 am 43

Thanks Christy! Just great…We must repeat over and over again what “Newt” is all about. I wish Durbin had been even more forceful on MTP yesterday. When going on that show, Democrats need to remember, they are also battling Gregory. He will always side with the republicans, no matter how lame the argument! Happy Memorial Day!

mui1 | Monday May 25, 2009 07:45 am 44

Welcome back Christy! Scarecrow wrote a fine briefing for you last night.

G-PoP does have its revenants.

laborite57 | Monday May 25, 2009 07:46 am 45

Newt is playing the media, including the blogosphere, for fools with his talk of running for president. He couldn’t win a single Republican primary in a field that included, say, Mitt Romney or Sarah Palin or Huckabee or some combination of these. The faux campaign is merely a vehicle to get himself on teevee so he can launch RNC-inspired hatchet jobs on Obama, Pelosi, etc.

prostratedragon | Monday May 25, 2009 08:05 am 46

In response to Crosstimbers @ 31

I have been wondering if the Huffpo side by side placement of mug shots of Senator Ben Nelson and a forked-tongue komodo dragon was accidental

[Gr-r-r-r] It better had been!

Christy Hardin Smith | Monday May 25, 2009 08:28 am 47

Fresh post up top, for anyone who wants a fresh read…

dmac | Monday May 25, 2009 09:02 am 48

test

MarinCoUSA | Monday May 25, 2009 03:35 pm 49

That “Barf” graphic is so totally on ’cause when my wife I just heard some dork on Face the Nation refer to NG as “Speaker” we had a vocal-editorial reaction that was positively emetic!

Since this sick, pathetic, traitor floated to the surface in the early 90’s I always considered him a shallow, shameful bizarre carpet- bagger. That’s beause when you grow up in Hummelstown, Pa (I grew up just east) you pronounce that name as “ging-RICK”, and if you move to the South and change it all up to “ging-Rish” you’re…. you’re friggin’ pathetic. Worse yet, you’re friggin’…..FRENCH! Yuck!!!!

OK, So for me – pass me the grey poupon Ging-RICK- it’s personal. You are a majorly troubled DICK.

Then Ging-RICK, the greedy, hypocrite, incompetent emerged from his brilliantly earned humiliation for the run up to the Iraq Invasion proclaiming- from the perch on a “We-Don’t-Know-What-We-Don’t Know, And-Don’t-Want-To” Rumsfeldian Pentagon Committee to proclaim as worthless the entire Department of State ’cause it couldn’t instantly turn around 500 years of international law on a whim and declare our right to peremptorily invade another country. Ging-RICK is a CLOWN! A Hllaroius BOZO! Why the TV interviewer didn’t laugh back in his face I don’t know. This guy was truly a one man laugh riot. He opens his mouth and it’s gob smacking stupid funny time.

Most recently however, I heard this corrupt, degenerate, incompetent on TV in the space of 12 hours make completely contradictory-180 degree opposite- remarks about Obama’s stimulus package and it hits me: Sweet Jesus, this guy can lie to your face with nary a twitch. And he can take our collective ignorance about American history- and what happened yesterday- to the bank every time.

And so on this Memorial Day as I contemplate the most heinous and truly evil political act in my lifetime- Nixon’s politicizing of American’s Vietnam POW/MIA’s to extend that war, I conclude that Ging-RICK is actually the second coming of Rick Perlstein’s Nixion from “NIXONLAND” – the most duplicitous, psychopathic lying American politician alive to day.

happy birthday David Harnish R

freepatriot | Monday May 25, 2009 09:12 pm 50

dare we hope ???